Inside each wedding uninvitation, I included a copy of the original invitation (we had already purchased these, pre-COVID), and the uninvitation note. I hand-wrote each note, which I would highly recommend you do, too. Getting these printed may save you a few hand cramps, but writing them personally will come across as thoughtful and sincere (which may help if you’re hoping the uninvited guests still purchase a gift from your wedding registry).
Whoever said engagement was the happiest time of their life clearly was not planning a wedding during 2020.
I got engaged in May 2019 and we almost immediately settled on Nov. 14, 2020 as our wedding date. At the time, a year-and-a-half engagement sounded dreamy; but as 2020 hit, it quickly turned into a nightmare as we traded feelings of excitement and celebration for sacrifice and loss.
My fiancé and I did the tough work and, through many tears, decided to keep our wedding date on schedule and reduce the guest count from 50 to 15.
Then came the next hurdle: how are we going to politely tell our friends and family — the people we’d sent save-the-dates to, and been chatting about our wedding with for more than a year — that they were no longer invited?
"...but as 2020 hit, it quickly turned into a nightmare as we traded feelings of excitement and celebration for sacrifice and loss."
I tried Googling what other people were saying, but only found examples for those who had postponed their date, or canceled their wedding altogether. With no examples to work from, I did what I always do: put pen to paper and started writing.
Fast forward two weeks, and, much to my surprise, we received thanks in return. The responses sounded like, “Thanks for uninviting me to your wedding!” and “This is the best un-invitation I’ve ever gotten!”
What I Included in the Envelope
If you’re one half of the happy couple, a family member helping the lovebirds plan, a wedding planner or another wedding pro, I hope you find the following copy of my notes helpful as you politely uninvite people from your 2020 or 2021 wedding.
The Univitation Note
Here’s my swipe copy for your handwritten “univitation” note:
I’m writing to you with sad news. Although a wedding invitation is enclosed, [Partner] and I have made the heartbreaking choice to cancel our invitation to you and limit guests to immediate family only. Please know that we love you dearly and wish you could be there on our special day, but we believe this is the safest decision for all involved. Thank you for your understanding, and for thinking of us with love on [wedding date] as we exchange vows.
Here are things to do and consider when choosing your inspiration:
- What’s the overall style of your wedding? Is it boho or is it traditional? Browse hairstyles that fit the vibe of your wedding.
While pinning, remember the season, location, and anticipated weather temperature will impact what you choose for your style. You don’t want your hair to be looking like a flock of sea gulls because the wind got a little too wild during your outdoor, mountain top ceremony. But remember, no matter what style you choose, you're going to look so beautiful on your big day!
PRO TIP: If you are newly engaged and haven’t booked your glam squad yet, I recommend doing so ASAP. This allows time to get to know the pros who will be getting you ready on your special day, and will help form a good client relationship.
There you are, scrolling through Pinterest, searching for wedding hairstyles and you find so many styles you love! So how do you decided on your style?
- Search for pictures with a model that looks similar to you. Similar hair color and length will help you to visualize what a particular style might look like on you.
- The style of your dress will factor into how you wear your hair. For example, you have a dress with a high collar or beautiful ornate back. A hairstyle that is all down or half up/half down will keep you from showing off those gorgeous details on your dress. So maybe consider an updo!
- Keep in mind some hairstyles you see on Pinterest may have been created specifically for Pinterest! These styles often could require hair extensions or hair pieces - which could factor into your budget, as well as the amount of time your stylist will need to create your look.
Looking Glass Beauty offers mobile hair, makeup + lash services throughout Northern Virginia and surrounding areas.
Writing your own vows is one of the most meaningful things you can do for your wedding day — no pressure, right? Our vow books give you and your beloved space to tell your story. If your heart is full but the ink isn't flowing, let our vow-writing tips and services guide you through the process. Speak your true love in all its glorious, messy beauty. Capture it forever with books made for the whole life ahead of you.
Your wedding is once-in-a-lifetime, but your vows should be an everyday celebration. While writing them yourselves can seem intimidating, taking the time to create a unique expression of your love is something you won’t regret.
Start with a Few Magic Numbers
Every couple is different, but some advice is universal. We suggest starting to write your vows one to two months before the big day. This gives you time to really think about what you want to say. You’ll want to aim for vows that take 3 minutes max, and are no more than 400 words. The best vows are short but rich in meaning. The key to making them meaningful? You. Honest, authentic, original, and real You.
Make Your "I Do's" Sound Like You
No one can write your vows the way you will. When you start to get stuck or question what you should or shouldn’t say, remember your partner’s marrying you. Embrace your unique shared story and explore ways to let it shine through.
● Will you start with an inside joke you share? ● A poem, song or quote that means something to your relationship? ● A memory that feels especially poignant now that you’ve arrived at this day together? ● A quote from an old letter that still rings true today?
Bring on those Love Feelings
For more inspiration, focus on a bit of flattery—the genuine and
heartfelt kind, of course. Think about the qualities you most love and admire about your beloved. What made you first realize they were The One?
Write it all down. Our vow books come with plenty of practice pages so you can see where your thoughts and ideas take you. The history you and your partner share is a solid foundation. Next, let’s look ahead to the future.
By writing your own vows, you’ve chosen to proclaim a lifelong commitment to your partner in front of cherished family and friends. What are the promises you want to make? Think of not just the words in your promises, but the actions. Years from now, what will it look like to live your vows in big and small moments?
Don’t be afraid to truly speak your heart and mind. Your vows might encompass sweeping sentimental statements. They might take the form of silly, cute promises that mean the world. Laughter and tears, joy and depth...all of these things can have a place in your vows if that’s what feels true to you and your beloved.
Above all, remember: There’s no such thing as perfect vows. There’s only what’s right for you and yours. Your vows will help you relive this moment for years to come. They’re the beginning of the legacy you’ll pass onto future generations borne of your love and union. When you look back, what you’ll cherish most will be their truth and meaning—perfectly imperfect in your own special way.
“You shouldn’t postpone your love, but you should postpone your bigger celebration,” says Mimi of Mimi Ebichi Events. As a former lawyer and former health care administrator – now wedding planner – Mimi continues to watch the data and medical studies as they come in. “This is a new virus, we don’t know much about it and the lasting implications. My advice for 2020 couples would be to keep your wedding small and traceable.”
"My advice for 2020 would be to keep your wedding small and traceable."
When we asked Millen of Millens Occasions, she echoed what Mimi said, “Yes! They should, absolutely [get married].”
Millen goes on to say that “couples shouldn’t wait, they should get married now, but postpone their reception until next year.” Both agreed that love can’t wait but the safety of you and your guests should be factored in with your final decision.
If you are a 2020/21 bride, without a doubt you have asked yourself – and asked others if you are so brave – "Should we still get married this year?"
Many of you awesome couples already made this hard decision: some of you got married anyway, some of you postponed and are waiting until mid to late 2021 or even until 2022, some of you eloped and are planning a bigger celebration later, and some of you continue to ask this question.
For those in the latter group, tune into this post for sure, especially as we run the race that is 2020 and approach the finish line.
Here at A Wedding Loft, we are beyond blessed to have well-seasoned planners as members who continue to navigate COVID reschedules daily with their couples. So, we asked that question to them, “Should couples get married this year?”
It was a unanimous yes, but with a but...
1. Reach out to all your wedding vendors now to at least let them know you are considering it and ask them for their availability for a handful of dates.
2. Check your formal agreements that you made with your wedding vendors to see what the contract says about rescheduling fees and how to formally reschedule with them.
3. Once you make the official decision to postpone based on the information you learned from the above, begin the rescheduling process ASAP.
4. Make plans to say “I-do” anyway. With more and more couples making last-minute decisions to switch, and new 2021 brides are beginning to book their wedding vendors, timely reschedules are imperative to keep all your same wedding vendors.
Another amazing feature of A Wedding Loft is it is a space that you can say “I do” in! We have affordable micro-wedding packages available and like your other wedding vendors, we are booking up fast! Be sure to inquire about our unbeatable offerings.
What should you do if you are thinking about postponing?
You want to have a good idea of what you’d like to spend for your overall wedding budget and what percentage of your budget will be going to your venue. Consider what’s involved in the venue fee and make sure you have enough left over in your budget to hire remaining vendors and any other extras like tables and chairs that may not be included with your venue.
CHOOSING YOUR WEDDING VENUE
Six questions to ask that can make or break your wedding day dreams
It would be tragic to have family and friends come from far away only to run out of space because of a growing guest list and book a venue that doesn’t comfortably accommodate your guests! Ask your venue what the maximum capacity is for their space while also factoring in a dance floor and arranging tables and chairs so guest aren’t eating on top of each other! Also think about what’s Plan B if you plan to have any part of your wedding outside, and make sure that if you have to move from outdoors to hold part of your wedding inside, that the indoor space has the capacity to hold all of your guests in the event of inclement weather. Otherwise, some of your guests may wind up standing throughout your ceremony!
3. Does the venue have a ‘Plan B’ option for the ceremony / reception?
As mentioned before, you definitely want to have a backup plan if the weather doesn’t quite cooperate as you hoped for your outdoor wedding. That could be anything from rain, wind, sleet, snow, cold temperatures or extreme heat! Does your venue have an alternative indoor ceremony or reception space? What is the protocol when it comes to making the call to move inside? Is it something the venue decides for you or do they try to give you the option to make that call yourself (i.e. continuing with your outdoor ceremony if there are just a few sprinkles of rain?) Most importantly, would you be fine with moving inside if you had to? If the indoor aesthetics aren’t anything that you love, keep that in mind when you make your final decision to pick a venue. You don’t want to be disappointed on your wedding day!
4. What is the venue’s decor policy?
Many venues do not allow open flame candles. They must be covered or allow smaller votive candles. If you’re dreaming of a romantic candle-lit dinner with tons of taper candles, you’ll want to be clear on the venue’s policy. Same goes for sparkler exits and confetti! Know what type of decorating is and is not allowed, and weigh the pros and cons of using that venue if they don’t allow any must-have decor pieces you have your heart set on.
5. Am I allowed to bring in an outside caterer? Or do I have to use the in-house caterer or a preferred vendor?
If you had high hopes for using a specific caterer, you’ll want to make sure the venue allows them to work at the venue. Each venue has different rules about this, and if they do have an in-house caterer, you may find yourself paying extra to use someone else. The venue might also require all outside caterers to have a certain dollar value in liability insurance, something you’ll need to know ahead of time and make sure the caterer you choose can provide proof of insurance prior to your wedding day.
6. How many hours do I get at the venue?
If you’re thinking about getting ready at your venue, do they include that as part of the venue rental hours or do they allow you to get ready on-site as early as you need? Do they even have a bridal suite on-site or will you need to have a getting-ready location prior to the ceremony, like a hotel or local bed and breakfast? How much set up and breakdown time do you get, and are those hours included as part of your total rental hours or are the rental hours just factoring in the amount of time for your event (ceremony, cocktail hour and reception)? Knowing these details ahead of time will help keep you from paying any fees for going over your time limit at the venue!